Dating in general is pretty tough. Dating long-distance is a whole entire level of difficulty. Of course, like anything else, there are pros and cons. Being in a long-distance relationship takes a lot more effort than a regular relationship because, well, you don’t see each other as much. It also takes an enormous amount of trust.
I’m currently in a long-distance relationship, and it actually happens to be the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had thus far. Would I rather be in the same state as my boyfriend? You bet. But the distance is kind of helping me remain my own person and not get lost in the relationship, which is something I have the tendency to do. So far, things are going really well, and it’s because I’m following some great tips:
Ignore The Naysayers
One of the biggest obstacles in a long-distance relationship is people telling you that it's not going to work or throwing statistics of failed LDRs at you. Not only is that very rude, it's also very discouraging. You're in a LDR. You already know how tough it is without other people rubbing it in your face. Do your best to ignore it when people say things about your relationship or express doubt. If they really get to you, confront the person and let them know that it's not okay to comment on your relationship.
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Communicate A LOT
Communication is key in every relationship, but especially when you're in a LDR. You have to talk to each other! You can't see each other so how else are you supposed to even be in said relationship? You need to communicate with your significant other as you would if they were really there. All of those little things you'd share with your boo if they were with you still need to be shared so text them about your lunch or about the squirrel you nearly ran over in the morning. Call each other a lot. Don't worry about being "annoying" or anything like that. Calling just to say hi in a LDR goes a long way.
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But Don't Text ALL The Time
When you're in a LDR, it's really easy to text your significant other all day. It's super convenient, I know. It's totally fine to text a lot, but don't text about everything. You want to save things to talk about later on the phone or on video chat. One of the problems of LDRs is that you can fall into the "How was your day?" "Fine, how was yours?" "Fine" routine very easily. If you save things to actually talk about, you'll avoid falling into that slump.
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Video Chat Frequently
Video chats are your best friend in a LDR! It's not the same as seeing your boyfriend or girlfriend in person, but it's so much better than just talking on the phone. You get to see their face! You love that face! Sometimes video chatting isn't practical, like when you're trying to multitask, but try to do is as often as you can. It makes a huge difference.
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Send Mail To Each Other
Yeah, yeah, mail is old fashioned. But I've never met someone who didn't like getting mail. Everyone loves to get letters and packages, and snail mail can make a world of a difference in a long-distance relationship. Send each other notes or care packages. My boyfriend and I send books that we want each other to read. It doesn't have to be something big, but a little surprise in the mail will really make their day and let them know you were thinking about them.
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Use Apps When You're Apart
There are so many apps for long-distance relationships from Skype to games. Use technology to your advantage! Start a game of Words with Friends with your boo or use an app specifically for LDRs to keep your relationship fresh. Technology can be a pain, but it can make the distance seem like less of a factor.
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Gaze
I just found out about Gaze, and it's so cool. One thing I hate about being in an LDR is not being able to just hang out and watch TV or a movie with my boyfriend. You can definitely make it work with Skype or just being on the phone while watching the same thing, but Gaze puts everything in one place and lets you watch programs you have on your computer. Gaze lets you watch things together in real time while seeing and hearing your partner. It's awesome and allows you to have real movie nights together!
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Make Plans In Advance
When you and your partner do get to see each other, make plans for the next visit before the current visit ends. If you have concrete plans set, they're much more difficult to break. It also gives you both something to look forward to instead of dancing around the idea of another visit for weeks.
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Put In The Effort
Putting in effort is a huge component in a LDR. You both have to be willing to visit each other and communicate. Ideally, you should alternate who visits every time. If one person is constantly visiting and the other isn't, it's not going to work. There has to be equal effort on both parts.
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Do Your Thing
One of the many benefits of a LDR is the fact that you still get to do your own thing while being in a relationship. Often in relationships, you get caught up in being with your partner all the time. Your friendships and hobbies might suffer, and you may turn into a relationship blob. That doesn't happen in LDRs, but it's still easy to fall of the face of the Earth and attach yourself to your video chat or phone. Make sure you still are maintaining your hobbies, friendships, and your own life.
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Are you in a long-distance relationship? Do you think they can work? What tips do you have? Tell us in the comments below!
You can reach this post’s author, Caitlin Corsetti, on Twitter and Instagram!
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